Something to be poured out;

Just something that comes across my mind;

I have hit that number 19 years old a few weeks ago and jyeahhh, for these 19 years of my life have I done anything that can establish me as the perfect Muslimah? And sadly the answer to that is a big no. Something have been missing and coming here, masha-Allah, I have started to find all those missing pieces and insha-Allah it will form the puzzle that I have been searching for all these while. Never ever regretted my decision for coming here, if I wouldn't be here now, I can't imagine what kind of a person I would be now. So jyeahhh, to everyone around me who has never failed to inspire me and give me all those wonderful lessons and ideas about this life, about Allah, about Islam, about myself, about humanity, about love, about basically everything, without you guys I would be so knowledge-less (seriously pardon my annoying vocab) and jyeahh all I could say now is Alhamdulillah. =')

Truth to be told;

It takes more than one giga dose of patience and more than all those piles of tears sweat and bloods to build up a wall of confidence that has already been crushed down to pieces.

This is me trying to;

Trying to balance everything,
Trying to catch up on studies,
Trying my hardest not to feel guilty,
Trying my hardest not to have some ntah pape punye breakdown,
Trying my hardest to keep that fighting spirit alive,
Trying my hardest not to sigh and question why are there so many problems that have been happening one after another,
Trying my hardest not to complain,
Trying my hardest to keep myself from making the wrong decisions,
Trying and wanting to make things right.

Finals are due in one month, 12/1/2011, and I can sadly confess that my progress in study is like entah 20% macam tu kot. Gahh. Whatever happened to that burning spirit that I have masa summer course dulu?  Whatever happened to everything, every effort that I have given out masa summer course dulu?

And jyeahhh, some things have been happening and I feel it's totally on me, I mean if I didn't procrastinate in handling things, my friends wouldn't be in the situation they're in right now. So yeah...I can't help but to   feel totally guilty for whatever that have been happening to us for the time being... =(

Tapi Allah tu Maha Adil kan? And all I could pray for now is just..I really do hope that things are going to get better soon. Every cloud has a silver lining, and I hope I would never stop being hopeful because difficult times always lead to better days, insha-Allah.

And things that have been happening actually opened my eyes to see more weakness of mine. Maybe this is what I get for treating others badly. Maybe this is what I get for procrastinating. Maybe this is what I get for not praying hard. Maybe this is what I get for every mistake that I have done before.

Hmm...

And when they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..

O' Allah, lend me your strength, please? =(

p/s : sekarang ni asyik rasa yang diri ni asyik terlepas pandang all those simple and little things yang actually play a big role in our life. And sekarang rasa menyesal for being so...entahlah, for being so ignorant I guess. Hmm.

Seriously;

Tumblr's being cuckoo. Dah bye.

And cheers to whatever that may come through;

Alhamdulillah, everything's starting to fall into the right places, Alhamdulillah. My housemates and I did some house-hunt for the last couple of weeks and Alhamdulillah yesterday's hunt brought some good news for us.

These few days have been quite err..hectic, I should say. My mind is quite un-organized and messy and berserabut and serabaiii. 2 more papers to go, both of them are killer subjects for me; PHYSIOLOGY AND ARAB.

So jyeahhh, maybe won't be updating that much after this, (Macam kau selalu update pulak, Qu? =.=') Anddddd I need to constantly remind myself so that my feet will be planted firmly on the ground, so that I am awaken to see the reality.

Kalau buat countdown untuk balik ke Malaysia next June/July starting now, melampau tak? Haha

I was;

Shuddered as the thought of death comes across my mind.

Shuddered, and that feeling where you're afraid of losing the ones that you love, forever from your sight, hits me like a sudden pang and has managed to make some tears flowing.

Ya Allah, I beg for your mercy, one of the things that I want to do the most right now is to see my family. Give me the chance to see all of them next year =(

Of all the boundaries;

I thought the hole in my heart is getting deeper as days passing by, the urge to go back to Malaysia is something that I have felt everyday. But I guess by keeping myself occupied with the thoughts about my exams DO help me to not let that hole to get deeper and deeper and deeper.

So jyeahh, I'm done with Anatomy and Histology. I was really, reeaaalllyyy keeping my fingers crossed hoping that both of them will be such darlings and being fair to me. Well, they were being fair enough to me. Found out that I have a few mistakes here and there, but yeahh the blame is on me though, being careless and doubtful are something that I have kept doing everytime I sit for any exams. Urgh.

But yeahh, those two darlings are over. Next up, BIOCHEMISTRY. Haihh. I haven't finished reading on Lipid, and I really do hope that I will be able to finish reading it before THIS SATURDAY. Dahlah Biochem doeeee.

Through it all;

"Through the fire, to the limit to the wall,
For a chance to be with you, I'd gladly risk it all,
Through the fire, through whatever come what may
For a chance at loving you, I'd take it all away
Right down through the wire, even through the fire."

And I feel that the verse of the song up here is exactly what I would sing to my AyahIbuArsyadLuqmanAimranDanialNenekFatimahMunirahSyafikaSyida and everyoneeee that have never failed to pray for my well being and my success here. I promise that I will try every effort that I have to go back to you guys with something that could make all of you smile. =')

Gonna fight through whatever, come hell or high water, be it piles of blood, sweats and tears, even if it means I would have to stumble or fall flat on my face or whatever through this adventurous journey of achieving what I have always dreamt of; SUCCESS, Insha-Allah!

P/S : My brother's going to sit for his BM paper in another..half an hour. Only God knows how worried I am, and only God knows that I am fighting together with my adik, since I will be having my mid-term examination soon. We are always here for you, adik and my prayer will always be with you.

O' Allah, I beg for your mercy to ease our path. Amen ya Rabb.

Really;

You can't actually call this a post, BUT, I have a request to make, which is;

IBU BOLEH TAK AKAK BELA KUCING?

To die beside you is a heavenly way to die;

Nak bagitahu yang dalam satu minggu ni, I have spent 60LE which equals to around RM30 on 6 SHAWLS.

And nak bagitahu jugak yang I have been eating spaghetti non stop since this afternoon.

And it's 3 freaking am now.

And nak bagitahu jugak yang I haven't touched and opened any books for today.

And nak bagitahu jugak yang I'm looking forward to June.

And nak bagitahu jugak yang it's funny to watch young Ashton Kutcher in That 70's Show.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH ANOTHER POINTLESS POST T_____________T

From Miss Syida

Something to kill my time. (Eyyyy masa kau tak cukup cukup dibunuh ke hahahaha translation is funny)


my personality:

• i’m loud.
•i’m obnoxious.
•i’m sarcastic.
•i’m cocky.
•i cry easily.
•i have a bad temper.
•for the most part i don’t like people.
•i’m easy to get along with. 
•i have more enemies than friends.
•i’ve smoked.
•i’ve smoked weed.
•i drink coffee.



my appearance:

• i wear makeup.
•i wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
•i wear contacts.
•i wear glasses. (only when I am studying)
•i have braces.
•i change my hair colour often
•i straighten my hair often
•i have a piercing 
•i have small feet


relationships:

•i’m in a relationship now. 
•i’m single.
•i’m crushin’.
•i’m in love.
•i’m always scared of being hurt. 
•an ex has physically abused me at least once. 
•i’ve told someone i loved them when i didn’t.
•i’ve told someone i didn’t love them when i did.
•i’ve been in love more than two times.
•i believe in love at first sight.
•i believe lust is more important than love.

friendships:

• i have a best friend.
•i have at least ten friends.
•i’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend. 
•i’ve beaten up a friend.
•i’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
•i can trust at least five people with my life. 

experiences:

•i’ve been on a plane. 
•i’ve been on a train. 
•someone close to me has died.
•i’ve taken a taxi.
•i’ve taken a city bus.
•i’ve taken a school bus.
•i’ve gone bungee jumping.
•i’ve made a speech.
•i’ve been in some sort of club. 
•i’ve won an award.
•i’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight. 
•i’ve been in a physical fight 

music:

• i listen to rnb 
•i listen to country. 
•i listen to pop.
•i listen to techno. 
•i listen to rock. 
•i’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until i hate it. 
•i hate the radio.
•i download music. 
•i buy cd’s.

television:

•i spend at least six hours a day watching television. 
•i watch soap operas daily.
•i’m in love with days of our lives.
•i’ve seen and liked the o.c.
•i’ve seen and liked one tree hill. 
•i’ve seen and like americas next top model. 
•i’ve seen and like popular.
•i’ve seen and like 24.
•i’ve seen and liked csi. 
•i’ve seen and like everwood.

family life:

•i get along with both of my parents.
•my biological parents are still together.
•i have at least one brother. 
•i have at least one sister. 
•i have at least one step brother/sister.
•i have at least one half brother/sister.
•i’ve been kicked out of the house.
•i’ve ran away from my home.
•i’ve sworn at my parents.
•i’ve made my parents cry.
•i’ve lied to my parents.
•i’ve lied to my parents about where i am.
•i’ve lied to my parents about what i’m doing.
•i’ve lied to my parents so i’d be allowed out.
•i’ve walked out when i’ve been grounded.

*Kalau ibu dengan ayah baca, diorang marah tak? TEEHEEHEE



school:

•i’ve yelled at a teacher.
•i’ve been suspended.
•i’ve had an in-school suspension.
•i’ve been sent to the principals office.
•i’ve walked out of class. 
•i’ve skipped an entire day of school. 
•i’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
•i’ve failed a test. 
•i’ve cheated on a test.
•i’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
•i’ve failed art.
•i’ve failed p.e.
•i’ve failed math.
•i’ve failed science.
•i’ve failed another class.
•a teacher has called my parents



*Conclusion to everything : I sound like a budak jahat T________T

Hari ini;

Saya ingin mengisytiharkan yang homesick saya semakin teruk.

Dan oh ya, Anatomy mid term adalah dalam dua minggu lagi tapi relax macam nak pergi picnic kat Cabo San Lucas.

A part of everything else;

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.


Sweet dan ergh, excruciating.

I'm all cranked up

as I'm watching videos by Audrey and Gamaliel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNKiKmjeI2o <--- click here click here!

Sue me, bite me, but watching this video of this super duper talented siblings everyday is like a must for me.

Anddddd, I'm having my Physiology quiz tomorrow. =)))))))) This is actually the sarcastic smile, since Physiology happens to be the subject that I fear the most, so I'm really, reaaallyyy hoping that Physiology is going to be fair to me tomorrow, Physio, don't forget to spread the loveeeeeeaaahhh for me, aaaaa.

And plus plus plus, my mid-term examination is just around the corner and I can feel like it's taking a peep at me =.=', it's just waiting for the right time to drop by and say hello and scares me to death. Hailaaa. You know what people, one thing I have learned again and again and again since I was back in high school is SAY NO TO PROCRASTINATION,

okay, mari kita ulang lagi,

SAY NO TO PROCRASTINATION 

sekali lagi adik adik sekalian,

SAY NO TO PROCRASTINATION

Because procrastination could be a good friend of yours when you're feeling all lazy but it's gonna eat you up later on and it's gonna cause you headache, you're gonna worry yourself to sleep thinking how the hell are you going to catch up on your studiessss

Gaahhh I may sound like exaggerating but truth to be told, that is exactly how I feel right nowww.

Hmmm you know what lets just focus on mid-term exam and heyyy I can stuff myself with The OC and Laguna Beach and That 70's Show after the exam has ended HAHAHAHA ASHTON KUTCHER ADAM BRODY TUNGGU AKU HAHAHA okay niat tak betul dahh

Dah dah. Sirious sirious. *Mengerutkan dahi* Sirious mode is on people. 

P/S : Do pray for our success, ey? :B Syukran jazilan ya antum. :)

Now and then

Now only I have realized that the something that I have seem to be regretting of is not really...how should I put this in a sentence eyy, let's just say, indah khabar dari rupa?

It's like, you have always thought that just thinking about the fact that you have lost something kills you, sampai rasa macam tak nak fikir langsung dah pasal tu, but then when you have finally embraced yourself to face the reality, something clicked in your head. "Hey, it wasn't so bad actually, I mean, I'm okay now. Kan? I'm not breaking down like pieces of broken china doll that can't be put back into one complete, whole china doll balik, kan?"

Dan maybe, maaaybbeee, you think you're in denial, you think that you're just giving yourself that self-motivation that you're perfectly fiineee, but really, the truth is, you ARE really fine?

Ookkaayyy, washing machine dah buat bunyi pelik. Oookaaayyyy, Physiology is on this Sunday tapi aku tak sedar sedar diri yang aku tak sampai 25% pun habis baca. Oookaaayy, kau memang menempah maut Qurratu. Oookkaayyyy dah bye.

P/s: Tolonglah faham yang lately ni homesick makin meningkat. Meningkatnya macam my appetite yang entah tiba tiba jadi macam selera gajah. Tsk. Dahlah bye.

I introduce to you

My current boyfriend, Flutes. 

It comes in Hazelnut flavor as well. 

That, that, is the fifth flutes that I have eaten todaaayyyhhh.

Anda semua dipersilakan untuk jerit "GAJAH" kepada saya. 

P/S : Can't stop listening to Through The Trees.  And Adam Brody in Jennifer's Body? Ngeowwww.

P/S lagikk : And yeah call me a lame-o because I have only managed to watch Jennifer's Body yesterday. Itu pun tak habis sebab bateri laptop dah ninonino tinggal 9% time tu and rasa malas nak jalan ke depan untuk charge and then tambah lagi dengan nak tidur ini semua selsema punya pasal okay dah bye. :P

P/S lagiikkkkk : Kepada sesiapa yang terasa dirinya perlu belanja saya Flutes, ehem ehem achoom, sila berbuat sedemikian dengan segera. HAHA

One hell of a ride

Hello fellow earthlings, I'm Qurratu'aini and I wish that I can make an escape with my dear Anatomy, Biochemistry, Physiology and Histology.

Do pray for our ever-after happiness. And do pray that these subjects would be able to keep me dazed, amazed and awake, for the least. We do not want to lose the spark that has spark-ed (:P) between us and we wouldn't want the chemistry between us to subside either.

Thank you.

Sometimes, we have to learn how to

Let go of something that we love so much.

For instance, MY FAVORITE PIECE OF BAJU KURUNG COTTON AND MY BLOUSE AND NEEDLESS TO SAY TWO OR THREE T-SHIRTS!!!!!!!

Habis turun warna selendang purple tu huaaaaaa my supposedly white baju kurung has big, BIG purplish-pink patches, and there were the exact same spots on my blouse and t-shirts, HAAA!

Ke nak buat je fashion faux pas pakaiiiiiiii jeeee baju tu pergi kelas? :P

Selendang purple durjana. Pfft.

P/S : Biochem and Physiology tests this Saturday and Sunday. Fuhhh.

Finally

Hereby I would like to announce that I have finally, FINALLY managed to download Laguna Beach Season 1 FULL EPISODES BABEYH considering the fact that I have been wanting to watch this favorite tv show of mine since it ended I am super stoked!

Dan sekarang tengah download the second season. Gehehehehe.

My God, Amazing that we got so far

It's 2 am in the morning and we haven't slept yet and instead of studying we are having riddles session and we are chatting with unexpected people hahaha okay people ;

1. What is the happiest burger in the world?

2. Apa  benda bila kecik hitam besar putih?

3. Apa benda keciknya sebutir nasi tapi lajunya seperti jet?

4. Apa benda mula - mula hijau tetapi kemudiannya warna merah?

5. Scorpion kaler apa?

Oh Nami jawab ada je scorpion yang color kuning yang agak-agak tanned. Dan scorpion tu ada dalam dota. ye aku memang main dota kannn nami? =.=' hahah

Okaylah bye.

Rasa macam

Nak kentut banyak banyak dan jog dan nak kasi mata ni terbukak luas-luas dan otak ni tak tepu sangat.

BTW Biochem and Physiology are being darlings right now, and I need to do some majorrrr catch-up on my Histology pulakk. Whoever thought that there are so much deeper and unknown facts about all those mitochondrias and rough endoplasmic reticulum lahh. Maybe it sounds lame but I got fascinated somehow.

Oh yeah, a few more hours to  go before Paramore's concert in MALAYSIA. Okay screw it lah I remembered back then I used to make an oath that if Paramore is coming to Malaysia it's a MUST-GO for me hahahaha see where I am right now? Tekan sini kelik kelik bye bye paramore pfft untuk bukti oath saya itu.

Okaylah I need some time for mourning session over my absence-from-Paramore's-concert by turning to
Kasabian. Oh dang I have been listening to Breathe by Taylor Swift over and over again and when Qurratu is listening to Breathe that means....? Isi tempat kosong sendiri blergh thanks to Facebook and cyber-stalking now Breathe is being played repeatedly.

Taknak kawan sampai kau datang Egypt. 

Haha okay bye.

This is good

Ku awali hariku dengan mendoakanmu
Agar kau selalu sihat dan bahagia di sana
Sebelum kau melupakanku lebih jauh
Sebelum kau meninggalkanku lebih jauh


Mungkin kau takkan pernah tahu
Betapa mudahnya kau untuk dikagumi

Classes are from 9 am to 6 pm with only an hour break. Oh la la.

Am trying to not let Physiology be one of my phobias, I don't know why but I have developed this fear for  this particular subject. Talk about all those autonomic nervous systems, man...

Oh by the way, I think I am allergic to Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu dan Anak. Haha ada ke orang yang allergic kat ubat tu?

It's 11 pm

And yet it feels like it's 2 in the morning. Blame it on the sudden change of 6 hours difference between Malaysia and Egypt haha 6 pm is already dark like it's 8 o'clock or something huahua.

I need to find my mojo back. What am I doing , really, now?

Procrastination was and still IS a best friend, how I wish I could get rid of it. Because I'm having my 3-days holiday and I HAVE DONE NOTHING THAT IS AFFILIATED WITH ACADEMICS booyah.

This is the time where "What am I doing, really, now?" pops into my head.

Sometimes I feel like I have diverted too much from the correct path that I'm supposed to follow, and a sudden thought of kufur nikmat hits me.

Ya Allah, adakah ini ujian yang kau turunkan melalui nikmat yang kau beri ini?

And I am afraid that everything will be taken away at one point. God forbids. :(

Do not let whoever you have been in the past holding you back from changing to another better you.

Just a 10-cent opinion of mine.

It ain't sweet.

Maybe I won't be there for you but you know my prayers and my spirit will always be with you, kan Nurul Syafika?

Dilwa'ti :)

Ingat tak pada 10 Mei 2009, you were sitting next to me and you were asking, "Eh budak KMM ke?"

Ingat tak time tu kita ada perjumpaan pada waktu malam and aku tengah melilau lilau cari port nak duduk then kau ajak aku masuk bilik meeting tu?

Ingat tak kau yang kenalkan aku dengan Cotek, Aisyah, dan lain lain?

Ingat tak kau selalu ketuk tingkap aku before pergi kuliah?

Ingat tak kita selalu pergi bakery sama sama?

Ingat tak kita selalu pergi surau kat bangunan FST lepas kuliah habis?

Ingat tak kita selalu bergosip sambil usha-usha budak budak lain time kuliah?

Ingat tak macam mana kita boleh beri gelaran kat Firdaus Fariq Ahmad "Kichan" ?

Ingat tak macam mana kita boleh get into the same clique with Kichan Mirul Muhsin Syahmi?

Ingat tak handphone kau tiba tiba mengeluarkan bunyi air yang sangat kuat ketika kita dalam kuliah?

Ingat tak kita semua squeezed into Husna's Kelisa to hit Alamanda's pusat karaoke in our baju kurung?

Ingat tak how we sing our hearts out to OAG's Generasiku and Senggol Senggolan Cubit Cubitan?

Ingat tak aku jadi anak dan kau jadi Bonda dan Amirul jadi Ayahanda and this idea came up during you driving to Kajang? *tetiba rasa style kalau eja Kajang sebagai Car-junk dan lebih style lagi kalau eja sebagai cArJuNk 

Ingat tak aku, kau dan Cotek bergambar dengan mummy patung dalam bilik cermin?

Ingat tak I did go to your room to get ready for the GMN dinner?

Ingat tak kita bertiga (kau aku Cotek) yang merasmikan rumah kita di Mansoura dulu?

Ingat tak kita berkongsi makan maggi pada malam pertama kita sampai di Mansoura dan you get sick afterwards?

Ingat tak macam mana kita selaluuuu sangat pakai baju yang dah ala - ala sama everytime kita keluar?

Ingat tak macam mana kita kantoi dengan Farah dan kita duduk senyap - senyap dalam bilik Cotek dan Sakinah dan duduk dalam gelap udah-udahnya kita tertidur?

Ingat tak macam mana misi kita dan usaha usaha kita untuk diet?

Ingat tak macam mana kita siap buat ukuran untuk pinggang lengan dan sebagainya untuk melihat perubahan dan efek diet kita?

Ingat tak macam mana kita selalu tulis - tulis notes ketika kuliah ? 

Ingat tak macam mana kita berkejar daripada tuisyen Chemistry untuk mengejar Hani yang dah nak berpindah ke Cairo?

Ingat tak all our sweat tears and blood that we have shared together throughout our stay in Egypt?

NAURATUL NADIAH JOHAN ARIFIN,

Though it has only been 1 year and a half (since 10 May :) ) that we have known each other, 

But I am proud to confess that you are now an important person in my life!

Though it is unspoken,

But your presence, together with Azura and Sakinah, 

Is actually one of the reasons for me to be able to be at the place I am in right now,

Kau, Azura, Sakinah merupakan sumber kekuatan aku,

Bangun korang, bangun aku juga,

Jatuh korang, jatuh aku juga,

Korang ketawa, aku ketawa,

Korang nangis, aku nangis juga.

Kelakar kan, you may be someone that I used to bum into when we're back in KMM,

But now we're housemates!

Nau, terima kasih atas segala nasihat tunjuk ajar yang kau dah beri selama ni.

Nau, terima kasih atas segala semangat yang kau pinjamkan selama ni.

Nau, terima kasih kerana sanggup bare with my dorkiness ini :')

Nau, terima kasih sebab seeing you and the others has taught me so many things about this life,

Nau, terima kasih sebab sentiasa stick together throught thick and thin, come hell or high water,

Nau, terima kasih sebab sama sama menjalani hidup sebagai pelajar di perantauan pada bulan Ramadhan dan Syawal ini,

Nau, terima kasih sebab tak pernah jemu shower us with your lovely and wonderful dishes!

Nau, terima kasih sebab be a part of our lives. :')

SANAH HELWA YA GAMILAH, YA UKHTI!

Semoga dipanjangkan umur supaya dapat terus berjalan di atas bumi ini mencari keredhaan dan keberkatan daripada Allah Swt,

Supaya kita dapat melunaskan impian kita untuk berbakti kepada kedua ibu bapa kita dan orang ramai,

Semoga dimurahkan rezeki dan semoga dipermudahkan segalanya dalam kehidupan,

Semoga dipermudahkan dan dilancarkan perjalanan kita untuk mengejar cita cita kita untuk menjadi pelajar Dentist Muslimah yang berjaya,

Semoga hubungan ukhuwah antara kita dapat dieratkan lagi selepas ini,

Semoga the next coming years will be splendid and wonderful!

Come hell or high water,

Through thick or thin,

You have showered my life with sparkles of rainbows,

From dull and plain now it is full with colors!

Thanks for creating wonders in my life!

And lets keep on creating wonders together eyyy? :')

HAPPY TWENTEEN-TH BIRTHDAY SAYANG!!!!

Ana uhibbu enti awi giddan,

ILYSDM, true true!!! =') =')

Terima kasih sebab mewarnakan hidup saya dan kami yang lain dengan kehadiran mu ya ukhti! :")